The Importance of Being Alone

Alone not lonely, is that true? Or is that an excuse lonely people use to stop being asked what's wrong? This summer for some reason other than my laziness I have somehow been able to go the entire length without working, and as much as this had eaten in my bank account and made me realise that I quite enjoy working it has made me realise that my own company isn't too bad. I've taken myself on lunch trips and shopping trips, walked around London as a party of one and got lost and refused to use Google to help me find my way back home. But like I said before I'm not lonely, just alone. As well as this summer leaving me pretty broke beyond repair it has allowed me to eat pray love myself until I am sure there is nothing left to discover.

The other week I did just that, jumped on the train and I took myself off for a trip up to London; the original purpose was University research but I think the idea of not leaving the house in 2 weeks only to go to the gym was starting to take its toll. I knew I wanted to get out; I had no idea what I was getting out from, but out was what I was getting.

Three exhibitions were on my list and I was determined to make it to all of them, plus food other than the leftovers from the night before seemed like the best idea, and well my blood was craving some overpriced coffee and cake the likes of which you can not get where I live.

I don't live inside London or even on the outskirts I to reach the centre and I'm okay with that, long t is a strong travelling has always been something which I love, give me a 6-hour train journey or car journey over a plane any day of the week, book and music ready and I'm happy.

It's a good 90-minute90-minute commute to get into the heart of London. So me 'popping' into London would be the wrong phrase to use, but I make it feel less of a tip and more of my everyday routine. Headphones on the perfect volume that I enjoy my choice of throwback tunes and also hear the overhead announcements just in case. I never feel too weird about being on my own in London, especially on the tube, the unspoken rule of not speaking to people makes that easy, more people travel in singular digits underground then they do in groups and more so than not the groups are the ones who get the looks, I can normally quite happily hop on the right line and not have to worry about anything, just another single commuters going their way to wherever they need to be. I think this is why London is my place of choice when I want to be alone. Because here are the things as big as London is and as busy as it can be you can be equally in the centre and have no one even notice you walk around, so many times I've walked to a random place when I decided I didn't want the tube and ended up somewhere new; this time around I found myself walking the completely wrong way through St James Park and was rather surprised to be adding 25 minutes onto my journey as well as a rather beautiful view of Buckingham Palace, a place I hadn't seen since I was around 10.

Here's the thing the moment I know that I need one of these eat pray love moments of simply being on my own is when I don't even want to get out of bed. It isn't very often that this happens thank god, but it does happen sometimes, I always find it hard to understand why I need alone time when all I've done when it comes to these moments is already be alone, but I need the alone time that isn't making me feel lonely, cause I can tell you know that sitting in bed on my own doing nothing with hairy legs and greasy hair is lonely, that's the warning sign that is when the alone starts to creep into being lonely, and that 'ly' just doesn't need to dampen my mood anymore.

It is something that I have always been okay about, knowing that I enjoy my own company, my first time eating in a restaurant was hard, but then I did it and now yes, of course, it still makes me a little nervous to ask for a table for one, but I have done it. I think everyone in a while needs some time to themselves, you don't even need to be alone with thoughts and overthinking I think it's healthy now and again to simply do exactly what you want when you want. Being able to take me off to London do exactly what I want, whether that means walking instead of getting the tube, taking the wrong turn and not worrying about being late for anything and missing something simply helps me to get my head straight. I overthink a lot of things and that normally results in worrying and getting held up something which should be simple is made longest by my brain.

Here's the thing spending time on your own isn't a bad thing, I mean I wouldn't recommend being so independent that you never see anyone and become a recluse, but I think that it is an important part of being okay with who you, my best friend took a holiday to Budapest by herself and ever since it's been placed in the imaginary list of things I want and need to be able to do on my own, the popular Google search of 'best places for solo travellers' is something that pops off very often and something I will stand by until it happens, I haven't been brave enough to go to the cinema on my own but I think that if I don't start getting involved more within the film like I use to do then I'm gonna have to force myself to sit alone in a dark room and watch 90 minutes of people trying to either fall in love or save the world, I mean its dark no one can see you anyway. Taking time out of anything and everything allows you to simply have a better understanding of you. It's a small step but it's something that will allow you to be better, I've found it to be a very important part of at least once a month does something on your own that makes and lets you focus on yourself.